Irrational: A Math Teacher’s Notebook

Pray for my husband and dog while I’m gone.  I’m going to miss them desperately, but I know it will be easier for me to push through the missing and loneliness because I will be on a great adventure.  My husband and animal will be in the same old same old, only I will not be here.  It makes me sad for them.  Pray for me today, as the day of leaving is the most difficult for me.  I’ve been doing better since Sunday, though, and I haven’t burst into tears yet.  He’s dropping me off in an hour.  We’ll see how that goes.

I’m leaving for Rwanda early Friday morning, so I don’t know if I’ll have time to stop back, but I realized there have been some updates in life that I have yet to write about.

My preparations for Rwanda have helped me to finally decide on a PhD in Curriculum and Instruction.  Our purpose over there, professional development, is truly what I love doing.  If I could spend the rest of my life travelling to places and training people on teaching practices, I would.  I think that C&I is the degree that most closely links me to that area of work.  All of this said, I know that my plan may not be the one God has for me, but I feel confident in that He is pleased with me pursuing this particular degree.  It is clear that this area is one He has gifted me in and I feel I am honoring HIm by looking for ways to use that gift to help others. C&I also won out over other degrees because I think it will give me the most versatility in the great field of education…meaning I think I’ll have more doors open to me rather than some other degrees I considered. 

That said, I am currently studying for the GRE as well as researching schools.  My list is down to 15 schools from 30 just a few days ago.  I’ll write more about the schools as I whittle down my list.  In trying to build my CV for the grad application, I’m looking at presenting at a couple of conferences next year, so I’m also spending some time researching for some abstracts and hopeful papers/presentations.  In that search, I think I’ve decided on trying a wiki in my classroom next year.  However, I acknowledge that my knowledge of wikis, blogs, and web 2.0 is still very limited.

So here’s your job while I’m gone.  If you have a wiki in your classroom or have thoughts that might help me out, tell me about what the best place for my classroom wiki should be, why it’s the best, and how you use it in your classroom.  I’ve briefly checked out wetpain, pbwiki, and wikispaces, but I don’t know enough about any one of them to know if I want to use it or not. 

You have your assignment.  Make me proud.  I’ll tell you all about Rwanda in about a month.

So we had the dads over for father’s day yesterday.  My mom came too, but husband’s mom and grandma were out of state visiting other family.  Some political issues came up in conversation that were…well, awkward.  I remember being a kid wishing I knew what was going on because I wanted to take part in the “adult” conversation.  Now I just sit in silence and think fondly of those days when kids left the table and ran around playing.  My political views have drifted from my very one-sided upbringing, and it is painful for me to hear my father talk about his thoughts on politics.  However, he is so one sided and closed-minded that there is really no point in offering  any contrasting opinion.  It does work in our favor that he doesn’t really listen when anyone else talks, though.  So after I tried to offer one intelligent comment in contrast to his view on a “hot topic” and he completely ignored me, simply waiting for me to take a breath so that he could offer his next opinion, I just decided to let him talk to himself and listen quietly.  It was father’s day after all.

Church today was absolutely fabulous and just what I needed to get ready for my trip.  Our pastor talked about Abrham and the journey God took him on.  The main point was not that Abrham was being taken on a trip to somewhere new but that he was being taken on a trip to change him into the man God called him to be.  So, in these days as I still struggle to say goodbye to my husband for a month, I know this is what God called me/us to do, and we will both focus on the changes God wants to make in our character on our different “journeys.”

I know God has called me to Rwanda and I know He has called me to take the GRE.  Beyond that, I do not know, but that does not matter.  It matters that I follow in obedience and pay attention to the person God is calling me to be along the way.

Call me crazy and emotional, but in this last week before I leave for Rwanda I have become more needy of my husband that possibly ever before.  I know once I get on the plane and going I’ll be fine and 26 days will really be no big deal, but I currently burst into tears at random moments in mere anticipation of missing him for a month.  This is no good.  I’m such an emotional trainwreck.